Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”: Arunima Jha

That’s the reality for most working women. Step into a boardroom and you’re too ambitious. Step out to pick up your child and you’re not committed enough. Speak up in a meeting and you’re aggressive. Stay quiet and you lack leadership skills. No matter what a woman does someone somewhere has an opinion on how she should have done it differently.

The portrayal of working women has always been in the wrong limelight. Either she is the cold career obsessed executive who has “no time for a family” or she is the frazzled mother struggling to “balance it all” as if men aren’t also juggling careers and families. The narrative rarely recognizes that women like men are individuals with their own ambitions choices and most importantly the right to exist without being constantly judged.

I see this in the media industry all the time. A female executive making tough calls is labeled “difficult” while a male counterpart doing the same is seen as “decisive.” If a woman negotiates hard she’s “unreasonable” but when a man does he’s just “playing the game.” And let’s not even get started on the way women’s appearances are scrutinized too polished too casual too much makeup too little. As if our competence depends on the color of our lipstick.

The irony is that even when women shatter glass ceilings the shards often end up in their own path. Take the classic trope of the “working mom guilt” a term rarely applied to men. Society tells women they should aim for success but punishes them when they get there. Meanwhile the corporate world preaches diversity and inclusion but still expects women to fit into a mold that was never designed for them in the first place.

Here’s the thing women don’t need a new “acceptable” category to fit into. They need the freedom to be professionals without their work ethic being tied to their gender. They need workplaces that judge them on their skills not their social roles. And they need the world to stop acting like their career choices are up for debate.

Because at the end of the day a woman in power isn’t a threat. She’s just someone who refused to apologize for taking up space

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